all of this is true and real.
esp 4, 7, 9, 12, 16, 18, 20.
i don’t think i’ve ever been on a date where the other person didn’t ask me, “what? what is that? what are you thinking about?” not a huuuuuuge surprise since i make direct eye contact no matter what even when my mind wanders off to planet marsh and the 7-10 things i’m daydreaming about instantly coalesce on top of my [now entirely unreadable] face. i usually try to come up with some sort of “yeaiguessthatmakessense” response, but in the spirit of dating up and honesty and niceness and not giving a shit and doing me and just fucking going for it, my no bullshit response this very second would be:
1. woah woah wow. thanksgiving is, like, tomorrow.
2. will i ever make more $$ w/o being chained to my computerphone miserable?
3. we found love = still wonderful, still don’t give a fuck who i smack danceable.
4. i can’t remember the last book i read. wtfwasit? no. srsly. wtf.
5. ashley and jack black are so right. sometimes you gotta let the led out.
6. if time warner doesn’t fix my internet on thurs, i am out of solutions.
7. grow, marpar, grow. grow the damn thing. good lord they’re adorbs.
8. omg robyn meyer-flay needs to start a video blog right right now.
9. drinking 3 liters of water a day is turning out to be a √+ life decision.
10. bonus points for successfully dressing for the weather.
1...whatever your walking pace is, speed it up by 20%. if you need to stop, step out of the way.
2...pedestrians run the show so cross like a boss, whether or not you have the right of way.
3...get your metrocard out ahead of time, black strip facing inwards. swipe it like an amex.
4...new york is really fucking expensive and we don’t talk about it so … try not to talk about it.
5...talking about your broker’s fee or how much you pay in rent, however, is totally acceptable.
6...buy smart / weather appropriate clothes that make you feel smart / weather appropriate.
7...do things by yourself as much as possible even if you have a +1 or already know people.
8...i’m serious. go to restaurants by yourself. wander around by yourself. get lost by yourself.
9...make personal business cards. no … not shitty ones. nice ones. heavy ones. letterpress.
10...fold your pizza.
1...you are on your own. you are in charge of your own schedule and your own transportation. so go places by yourself. learn the roads and the backroads.
2...la is not a single city. it’s lots of different neighborhoods. downtown is just a different section just as is culver city, silver lake and venice.
3...explore la. each neighborhood has its own culture and gems. go east of the 405. go west of lincoln. go south of lax. go north of hollywood. look up directions and then put them away. get lost and explore. the valley is not as far as you think. find where you fit in.
4...learn to love driving. not sitting in traffic, but driving. have your radio station, your podcast, your go-to phone calls.
5...self promotion is survival. everyone talks about work. you come to la to do what you love and so talking about work is talking about an extension of yourself. it’s both a means of getting to know someone and a means of survival. get used to it and if you don’t like it, you better have something interesting to talk about.
6...learn your drink and your limit. aka don’t drink and drive. there are occasions to get very drunk, and those are occasions to cab or to find a dd. most nights, you will be in at least one bar, maybe more, and you should learn your drink so that you can enjoy it, nurse it, sober up and still drive yourself home safely.
7...every day is a nice day. people don’t usually talk about it. instead, they take advantage of it. there’s the beach, but there’s plenty of other outdoorsy things too. hikes, parks, biking trails, boating, canoeing, skiing, surfing. be outside.
8...get out of town. la is close to so many getaways you can leave for the day, the weekend or for a while. santa barbara, san diego, vegas, palm springs, mexico, mammoth, big bear, ojai… part of being in la is getting out of la and balancing your life.
9...friends are family. most people are not from la. most people come here from somewhere else, so everyone gets homesick and misses their family. so your friends become family on holidays, birthdays, good times and hard times. find good people, probably not from bars to be your family. take classes, go to meetups, meet your neighbors, perform, network. find good people. find their good people and make a new family. sidenote: this fact also makes thanksgiving and christmas very quiet in la. it can be lonely, or it can be the most relaxing time to be here.
10...no one dresses up. but dress well. you can get away with jeans and a tshirt every day. almost anywhere. but don’t be lazy. get well-fitting clothes. get some in-between shoes and a blazer. la is casual, but you’re still a self-respecting adult.
5 ing’s from last week that felt fantastic:
1. sending an “i’m not into you romantically” email instead of going passive aggressively radio silent until – hopefully – the other person forgot i existed and / or stopped trying.
2. posting a #nofilter photo on instagram and discovering an artist i really admire “liked” it.
3. taking my favorite heels to alex so i could keep naomi campbell walking allova town.
4. being asked repeatedly what sports i played in high school (answer: uhhhhh drama club?)
5. graduating from the 3lb to 5lb hand weights at my local synagogue.
waddaboutyou?
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list of objects i’d add to the nytimes
history of ny in 50 objects list:
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dollar pizza
haddad’s truck
scaffolding
spray paint
government trash can
taxi television
bodega umbrella
rent check, market value apt
old lady roller basket
dog poop
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the family and friends who knew my dad best knew someone i did not. i was in 3rd grade when my dad came out, it was the mid-90s, and we were living in a not-so-understanding time in the middle of indiana. my classmates were appalled and would frequently ask, “does this mean you’re gay too?” an illogical conclusion, yes, but i was only 8 years old so it was also an embarrassing and hurtful and confusing conclusion. i had no idea what to say. maybe?
after my parents divorced, my sister and i lived with our mom and, though our dad lived close by, he was always cresting in and out of some sort of state of financial, physical, or emotional instability. in order to protect myself, i quickly built a large wall between the two of us and, in doing so, i stopped getting to know him and, subsequently, him getting to know me. when he passed away in march of 2010, i was a stunned 23 year old, but i was also just a hurt and confused 8 year old.
it’s now been 2 years and 7 days since my dad died. the reason i’m writing this today is because march 27, 2012 would have been his 63rd birthday. while i can’t rewrite his past or tear down the wall built between us, i realized i still have some time to get to know him. so, in honor of my dad’s 63rd birthday, i decided to reach out to his friends and family for photos and suggestions of things he really, really loved (a huge thank you to all those who got back to me). below you’ll find a list of what everyone had to say. i hope you enjoy reading them as much as i did discovering them.
things kim really loved:
dirty jokes
corny jokes
challah french toast
chocolate chip banana bread
tuna melts (secret ingredient = worcestershire sauce)
math
science
trivia
israel
judaism
ancestry
soda pop (root beer in particular)
his stuffed seal
the moody blues
1,001 arabian nights
flowers
scrabble (and his unwavering capacity to win)
boggle (equally, with his relentless intent to win)
monopoly
reading a good book
writing
cooking
gardening
camping with his family
singing
storytelling
organizing
going to shul
teaching nursery school
remembering a name or a fact from the past
making you believe he was remembering a fact from the past
playing kalookie with ida marsh
riding the bus to clifton’s with ida marsh
laughing through tears with ida marsh
having a scotch (or two) before shabbos dinner
falling asleep right after shabbos dinner
running the minneapolis marathon (and completing it)
making puns
selling ice to eskimos
gene & marvin
jenny & me
happy birthday, dad.
xoxo,
amy
ps – from top to bottom, the photos are as follows – – – > my dad and me, my dad and my sister, my dad in israel, my dad and my mom on their first date, and my dad at a fancy dinner thing.
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5 year diary
tamara shopsin
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5 great things that happened last night:
1...went to an iconic steakhouse with the unsinkable molly jane.
2...hung out backstage during the live taping of this annual event.
3...laughed the loudest when they announced best in show.
4...got likened to this actress by some serious bollywooders.
5...discovered tamara’s 5 year diary (a must for any listmaker).
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chicas malas
amyruthmarsh
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animals i saw while in costa rica:
cow
dog
gorilla bat
horse
hummingbird
iguana
koi
lizard
mosquito
parrot
pelican
pig
possum (possibly, it had a weird tail)
sand crab
sloth
snail
My Hanukkah List. December, 2009
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When I was a kid, my favorite holiday tradition was drafting an official Hanukkah List. It was always inappropriately long and was mostly made up of all the CDs and gift cards I was just dying to have. Really, Amy? You want another copy of the original cast recording of RENT and a gift card to Claire’s? Again? But you only buy key chains and gel pens. Ooooh how I loved those gel pens. Soo inky! Soo pretty! Soo . . . well, to be totally honest, useless since all they really did was leave messy, glittery, unintelligible streaks all over the place.
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In any event, I can’t really remember the last time I sat down and actually celebrated Hanukkah so the fact that I’m hiking up to Harlem tonight with store bought latkes and applesauce to spend the first night of this long forgotten holiday with my cousin Natasha has caused me to wax all nostalgic and draft a more useful, grown-up, and ladylike Hanukkah List.
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Happy Holidays, Internet!
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1. I am terribly sorry how absent I have been.
2. My life seems to be playing on the Crazytown [by Butterfly] b-side recently.
3[7]. Thankfully, come Wednesday evening, I will be on a delightfully crowded plane with my best friend Dan to number 37 of the NY Times’ 44 Places to Go in 2009. He promised me wings and a trip to a bonafide Target.
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I….C..A..N..N..O..T….W..A..I..T….
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Frankly, there’s nothing more satisfying than a work computer virus scan before 9am. You know, because now I can update my blog and dick around on the internet . . . FASTER! Also, in case you’re just tuning in, tomorrow is the Big Move and officially marks the end of the Most Dangerous Apartment Search. And despite the stress and anxiety and overwhelming feeling that there’s going to be even more hurdles to clear, I do believe some hip hop hurray’s are definitely in order:
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To a purging of all the shit I don’t need anymore!
To a plethora of everything must go deals on craigslist!
To a bedroom aesthetic that doesn’t resemble a funhouse!
To a 7 foot reach-in closet, big windows, and a fire escape all to myself!
To a clean, comfortable, and creative East Village apartment to call home!
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Hip hop hurray, indeed.
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Ho.
PRO:
when lawyers reply to my emails with, “perfect amy.”
CON:
when older men text me with emoticons :(
