1. accepting what you need
  2. communicating what you want
  3. dining, drinking, doing anything really solo
  4. wandering aimlessly with the hopes of getting lost
  5. hot yoga in the summer
  6. calendaring the good stuff too
  7. knowing your neighbors
  8. taking time to clean your apt
  9. being the one who can kill the cockroach (upon request)
  10. texting your parents
  11. cooking for friends and family
  12. buying the ticket
  13. taking the ride
  14. putting on pants sans any hands
  15. leaving a note
  16. googling it
  17. checking the weather before you get dressed

game over.

first dates are meet and greets. second dates are for getting to know them better. third dates are for getting to know them better. fourth dates are for getting to know them even better. do you get my drift? go on a date expecting nothing more than to meet a new and interesting person. that’s it.

lisa copeland, 3 reasons why a great date does a vanishing act

first dates are meet and greets?
holy fucking game changer.
slaaaaaash awhoops.

planet marsh.

pink sky
marry me
i don’t think i’ve ever been on a date where the other person didn’t ask me, “what? what is that? what are you thinking about?” not a huuuuuuge surprise since i make direct eye contact no matter what even when my mind wanders off to planet marsh and the 7-10 things i’m daydreaming about instantly coalesce on top of my [now entirely unreadable] face. i usually try to come up with some sort of “yeaiguessthatmakessense” response, but in the spirit of dating up and honesty and niceness and not giving a shit and doing me and just fucking going for it, my no bullshit response this very second would be:

1. woah woah wow. thanksgiving is, like, tomorrow.
2. will i ever make more $$ w/o being chained to my computerphone miserable?
3. we found love = still wonderful, still don’t give a fuck who i smack danceable.
4. i can’t remember the last book i read. wtfwasit? no. srsly. wtf.
5. ashley and jack black are so right. sometimes you gotta let the led out.
6. if time warner doesn’t fix my internet on thurs, i am out of solutions.
7. grow, marpar, grow. grow the damn thing. good lord they’re adorbs.
8. omg robyn meyer-flay needs to start a video blog right right now.
9. drinking 3 liters of water a day is turning out to be a √+ life decision.
10. bonus points for successfully dressing for the weather.

the f-ing chase.


“well,” said pooh, “what i like best—” and then he had to stop and think. because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called. – a. a. milne

tomorrow ≠ president’s day.

bill & hilary, 1972
salad days

in second through eighth grade,
my teachers would frequently announce,
“tomorrow, there will be a surprise.”
& each time, i would get so worked up
until i was sure i had figured out
exactly what was happening:
bill clinton is coming!
bill clinton is coming!
& each time, without fail,
they would reveal something sad
like a new student or how to calculate tip.
unfazed, i always figured,
“okay fine . . . maybe next time.”
i’d say mcworld is mostly to blame.

old school love.


“the other night, ben and i were sleeping, both facing away from each other. at the very same second, we each started to roll over, extending our outer arms to spoon each other, and in the process high fived.

that’s right.
we sleep high fived.

we both woke up
and laughed for half a second,
and then went back to sleep.

sleep high five.
think about it.”

– rachel pfeffer

hunting season.


“imma be real, man, this might sound like the craziest thing to you. i, and others like me – trap stars – we always considered ourselves robin hoods: we go out and get the money. just think, if you was in the village and you a hunter, you take pride in going out to hunt the prey and bring it back for the village to eat. in our situation, we took pride in getting money so that the hood could eat. a part of the hood was the strip club, so – in our minds – we looking at it like we putting kids through school, we buying school clothes, we paying tuition, we paying car notes. we felt like we was the providers. and that’s what we are! when you a ghetto star, when you a hood star, you gonna take care of your grandmother, your mother. when you on that next level, you gotta take care of the city, the streets. all of that consists of going to the strip clubs and throwing up money; like, imma have fun doing it, but imma give back. and, like, in doing so, they don’t gotta take the risks that we did. the women shouldn’t have to go out and kill the goddamn elk.”

rappers are the ‘robin hoods of the hood’
young jeezy