“play ‘i do it’ as you do it.” — shrimp scampi, step six.
“put on your versace apron.” — teriyaki salmon, step one.
“drape yourself in an adidas sweatsuit, chainz n thangs.” — sautéed asparagus, step one.
“position yourself in a room surrounded by a handful of tvs playing sportscenter with the sound off.” — crab cakes with mango salsa, step one.
“call fergie, invite her to watch a movie on netflix. once she accepts, start making green beans.” — garlicky green beans, step one.
“get a manicure and a pedicure.” — #metime sauce, step two.
“spend some more #metime at the house, catching up on old seasons of the wire.” — #metime sauce, step three.
Tag: foooooooooood
brain food.
pete wells:..[hiding behind the nytimes dining section].
rick berke:..pete, have you ever worn a disguise?
pete wells:..i’m wearing one right now.
ha.
rick berke:..can we see the top of your head, pete?
pete wells:..[pushes his face into the centerfold] that’s my nose.
rick berke:..you’re not cooperating, pete.
shiiiiit.
pete wells can haaaaaang?
ruth reichl loooathes honey?
omg, this is brillllliant.
what’s in prince’s fridge?
dunk-a-roos (about 5 pounds’ worth)
“don’t know what 2 say about dunk-a-roos. they’re just good! sometimes you want a food that is comfortable and takes you back. for me, it’s those crazy little kangaroo crackers.”
18 varieties of mustard (including german, texan, and raspberry-flavored varieties)
“i don’t collect it, but LOL yeah there’s a lot in there. U gotta love mustard. the raspberry kind is the best. you wouldn’t expect it but that’s how it goes.”
challah bread (half a loaf from cecil’s delicatessen)
“manny loves this stuff, that’s why i keep it around. i guess it’s good with any of the mustards, he says?!?!” editor’s note: we do not know who “manny” is.
yak milk (one quart)
“this stuff is TOO AMAZING. it clarifies your skin and your mind. it is given freely by the yak, so u can truly enjoy it. great with chex – rice chex, wheat chex, whatever!!!”
real maple syrup (one gallon)
“people say U can’t tell the difference, but U know, it’s the real deal. it’s a cut above. it’s about 100 cuts above. this is the only thing that touches my waffles.”