been thinking a lot about big love lately, about wanting to give it and get it back just as big in return. i worry that i’m turning into a heart broken pessimist, but i have a hard time imagining anything remotely close to that happening here or just generally, like even in the far off distant future when i feel stronger and more sure of my shit again. but, to be fair, it’s been less than 2 months since jonathan and i broke up, so maybe that’s more of a normal, guarded, self protected, to-be-expected thought pattern than a pessimistic one. i’ve also been thinking a lot about this ikea kitchen island, mid century modern low boy dressers, whether or not i’m killing my fern, losing 10 pounds, not drinking for a few months, 8×10 area rugs, and finding some sweet landscape paintings to hang on my bedroom walls.
welcome to the jungle.
ps – where da fuck are all the jews at, portland? goddammit. srsly tho.