i wrote it down.

maybe it’s good that i’m tossing, turning.
maybe i need this to be difficult.
maybe i need this to have holes.
to be … [don’t] …  [don’t say it] …


and stressful.
and exaggerated.
and over thought.

maybe it’s time for me to roll around in my sleep for something.

so if it works out,
if i end up getting it,
i’ll know that i wanted it.
that i actually wanted it.

and i’ll go in there.
i’ll go in there everyday.
kicking so much ass.
just to fucking keep it.