“decide what you want, and then own it without shame. knowing what you want, even if you might never get it, doesn’t make you a loser. owning what you want, and sticking your neck out for it: that’s what separates happy people from unhappy people. standing up for your dreams and politely declining to ‘be cool’ and ‘hang’ and play along with the status quo? these actions are crucial. they shape your whole life.
without them, you are merely a spectator.
as a woman, you will be denigrated for saying what you want. because you have made your desires known, and because those desires might be inconvenient to others, you are a problem. people are very good at shaming desire out of women. this is not a conspiracy. this is social reproduction. these are the natural forces that uphold the status quo …
fuck that noise.
do not let the world shame you out of your true desires. dig deep and decide what you want. then own it. if you can’t do that, then you should expect to be disappointed.”
– ask polly, should i give my commitment-phobic boyfriend an ultimatum?