“play ‘i do it’ as you do it.” — shrimp scampi, step six.
“put on your versace apron.” — teriyaki salmon, step one.
“drape yourself in an adidas sweatsuit, chainz n thangs.” — sautéed asparagus, step one.
“position yourself in a room surrounded by a handful of tvs playing sportscenter with the sound off.” — crab cakes with mango salsa, step one.
“call fergie, invite her to watch a movie on netflix. once she accepts, start making green beans.” — garlicky green beans, step one.
“get a manicure and a pedicure.” — #metime sauce, step two.
“spend some more #metime at the house, catching up on old seasons of the wire.” — #metime sauce, step three.