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like more than a friend.

Posts tagged uhhhmazing art

ha but srsly
he dnt do fancy
been thinking a lot about big love lately, about wanting to give it and get it back just as big in return. i worry that i’m turning into a heart broken pessimist, but i have a hard time imagining anything remotely close to that happening here or just generally, like even in the far off distant future when i feel stronger and more sure of my shit again. but, to be fair, it’s been less than 2 months since jonathan and i broke up, so maybe that’s more of a normal, guarded, self protected, to-be-expected thought pattern than a pessimistic one. i’ve also been thinking a lot about this ikea kitchen island, mid century modern low boy dressers, whether or not i’m killing my fern, losing 10 pounds, not drinking for a few months, 8×10 area rugs, and finding some sweet landscape paintings to hang on my bedroom walls.

yessiree.
amy’s brain.
welcome to the jungle.

ps – where da fuck are all the jews at, portland? goddammit. srsly tho.

FOWE_Portfolio12
FOWE_Portfolio11

been encountering waves of sadness in the evening, lately. after the emails stop and the east coast crawls into bed and the northwest sun fades, i try to sit with the day, sit with the quiet, sit with whatever’s changed, whatever’s the same, but i just … can’t. i can’t because my mind is a wind tunnel and a wave of doubt and longing and uncertainty and loneliness has just rolled in, consistent and thick and unforgiving and … i know (i know).

it’ll pass.
i’ll come back.
i’ll be better for it.
i’m just in it.

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people say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. i don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. i think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually

feel
the rapture
of being
alive.

joseph campbell, the power of myth

i bet bethany and zovig would agree.


tycho did a sunrise dj set at burning man on 08.29.14 that started at 5:40am and then posted it to soundcloud 5 days later for the rest of us to enjoy anytime we want because unconditional love and premium ice cream and wild and free internet, y’all.

also on the deep, long playlist front, mixtrss has really been flexing their “30 or so tracks similar to this one awesome track” baby playlist making skills. for those of you into magical internet things that are just plain güüüüd, check out …

this one.
oh and this one.
gah, this one too.

tldr … deyallgüüüüd.

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some people make us feel more human and some people make us feel less human and that is a fact as much as gravity is a fact and maybe there are ways to prove it, but the proof of it matters less that the existence of it—how a stranger can show up and look at you and make you make more sense to yourself and the world, even if that sense is extremely fragile and only comes around occasionally and is prone to wander or fade—what matters is that sometimes sense is made between two people and i don’t know if it’s random or there is any kind of order to it, what combinations of people work the best and why and how do we find these people and how do we keep these people around, and i don’t know if it’s chaos or not chaos but it feels like chaos to me so i suppose it is.

– catherine lacey, nobody is ever missing

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  1. accepting what you need
  2. communicating what you want
  3. dining, drinking, doing anything really solo
  4. wandering aimlessly with the hopes of getting lost
  5. hot yoga in the summer
  6. calendaring the good stuff too
  7. knowing your neighbors
  8. taking time to clean your apt
  9. being the one who can kill the cockroach (upon request)
  10. texting your parents
  11. cooking for friends and family
  12. buying the ticket
  13. taking the ride
  14. putting on pants sans any hands
  15. leaving a note
  16. googling it
  17. checking the weather before you get dressed