it is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.
- alain de botton, the architecture of happiness
i’ve been struggling with a triple dose of severely limited attention span + blogger’s block + work life imbalance since mid december, but i wanted to tell you that i miss you so much it aches, i think about blogging (and the act of not blogging) everyday, and i finally figured out this year’s three word thesis:
go through it.
three things in human life are important:
the first is to be kind;
the second is to be kind;
and the third is to be kind.
- henry james
there’s only one rule
that i know of, babies –
“god damn it,
you’ve got to be kind.”
- kurt vonnegut
people who try
to bring you down
- tip of the fucking day
you can learn a lot
by which bridge
to jump off of
and whether or not
there is water
at the bottom.
all of this is true and real.
esp 4, 7, 9, 12, 16, 18, 20.
boo, next time you talk to him,
just lead with realness.
when you lead with realness,
you get realness.
- joanna, nailing this year’s 3 word thesis en route to katie & matt’s wedding
2014 = lead with realness
2013 = the only way
2012 = [i don’t remember]
2011 = and there’s more …
ps – HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ALL CAPS WITH MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS, INTERNET!!!
the price of anything
is the amount of life
you exchange for it.
every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes.
- poncho eduardo martinez
“decide what you want, and then own it without shame. knowing what you want, even if you might never get it, doesn’t make you a loser. owning what you want, and sticking your neck out for it: that’s what separates happy people from unhappy people. standing up for your dreams and politely declining to ‘be cool’ and ‘hang’ and play along with the status quo? these actions are crucial. they shape your whole life.
without them, you are merely a spectator.
as a woman, you will be denigrated for saying what you want. because you have made your desires known, and because those desires might be inconvenient to others, you are a problem. people are very good at shaming desire out of women. this is not a conspiracy. this is social reproduction. these are the natural forces that uphold the status quo …
fuck that noise.
do not let the world shame you out of your true desires. dig deep and decide what you want. then own it. if you can’t do that, then you should expect to be disappointed.”
- ask polly, should i give my commitment-phobic boyfriend an ultimatum?
“it’s quite easy, man. my advice is always make sure that you write down thoughts that are funny cause you want to make sure that you hang on to all the funny things you think of. so, simple as that. write down anything funny that comes to your head. don’t be lazy.”
– mitch hedberg
don’t plant your bad days.
they grow into weeks.
the weeks grow into months.
before you know it,
you got yourself a bad year.
take it from me →
choke those little bad days.
choke ‘em down to nothing.
– tom waits
in this age,
which believes that
there is a short cut
to..e v e r y t h i n g,
the greatest lesson
to be learned is that
the most difficult way
is, in the long run,
– henry miller
” . . . or a dinner at a restaurant where i was meeting two other couples. my wife was away, so i was flying solo. i arrived at two minutes to eight for an eight o’clock booking. at 8:20, i was into my second glass of pinot and at half-past i got a text saying ‘on the way’. we finally were all seated at 8:45. there were not even attempted excuses from either of the two couples, who seemed oblivious to the fact i might actually have got there at the agreed time. meanwhile i had put a huge dent in the bottle of pinot, and was ready to go home.
and it is not that we lead ‘busy lives’. that’s a given, we all do, and it’s a cop out to use that as an excuse. it’s simply that some people no longer even pretend that they think your time is as important as theirs. and technology makes it worse. it seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late.
you are rude.
as a founding member of the “10 minutes early and always waiting for someone” club (read → i may or may not have chosen ‘prettypunctual’ as a username at one point in time), i love greg’s post and greg’s response equally.
“if you ever want to know who your friends are, be vulnerable.
need something. need something you can’t repay them for, something basic and human, something people only willingly and unflinchingly give to people they care about. it seems like age-old wisdom, but it’s something we tend to lose track of when things are good: tough times are the ones that show us who we can really count on, and how many people in our lives are just (no pun intended) fair-weather friends.
and sometimes, it’s not the people you’ve known the longest, or the ones you think you know best, who fit that description. sometimes it’s not even the people you’d expect to fit it. it’s the people that, regardless of time or place or circumstance, are right there with you when shit gets real.”
- mila jaroniec
instead of telling us
a thing was “terrible,”
describe it so that
we’ll be terrified.
ps – delighted ira and i are both on board the “no shame in using killer as an adjective” train.
wit & delight
last night was a bruise
until i tapped a far friend
and everything healed.
if i had a ham,
i’d ham it in the morning
all over this lan.
i’ve said it before
and i’ll say it once more,
“i don’t do assholes.”
“here’s the truth: people, even regular people, are never just any one person with one set of attributes. it’s not that simple. we’re all at the mercy of the limbic system, clouds of electricity drifting through the brain. every man is broken into twenty-four-hour fractions, and then again within those twenty-four hours. it’s a daily pantomime, one man yielding control to the next: a backstage crowded with old hacks clamoring for their turn in the spotlight. every week, every day. the angry man hands the baton over to the sulking man, and in turn to the sex addict, the introvert, the conversationalist. every man is a mob, a chain gang of idiots.
this is the tragedy of life. because for a few minutes of every day, every man becomes a genius. moments of clarity, insight, whatever you want to call them. the clouds part, the planets get in a neat little line, and everything becomes obvious. i should quit smoking, maybe, or here’s how i could make a fast million, or such and such is the key to eternal happiness. that’s the miserable truth. for a few moments, the secrets of the universe are opened to us. life is a cheap parlor trick.
but then the genius, the savant, has to hand over the controls to the next guy down the pike, most likely the guy who just wants to eat potato chips, and insight and brilliance and salvation are all entrusted to a moron or a hedonist or a narcoleptic.
the only way out of this mess, of course, is to take steps to ensure that you control the idiots that you become. to take your chain gang, hand in hand, and lead them. the best way to do this is with a list.
it’s like a letter you write to yourself. a master plan, drafted by the guy who can see the light, made with steps simple enough for the rest of the idiots to understand. follow steps one through one hundred. repeat as necessary.”
great love affairs
start with champagne (balzac)
start with strong coffee (marsh)
i’ll be right baaaaaaack.
“it is a fuckload of work to be open-minded and generous and understanding and forgiving and accepting, but christ, that is what matters. what matters is saying yes.”
an interview with dave eggers
the harvard advocate, 2000
just when things look darkest, they go black
have i mentioned
that i f-ing love
the library ?
well, i do
1.….it’s not there yet
2.….look both ways
4.….leave the music on when leaving home, so that it’s playing when you return
5.….say the most with the least
6.….do not invest in penny stocks
7.….i’m not genius, i’m disciplined
8.….ask for a kill fee
10...not everything you do is going to be a masterpiece
11...write a daily list of things to do and check them off as they get done
12...avoid compulsively making things worse
13...don’t postpone joy
14...act on anger the next day
15...pay attention to the people who pay attention to you
16...it takes a lot of preparation to be ready for opportunity
17...hire people who are better than you
= best advice of 2011 (thus far)
“As a moral atheist you have a number of rights and responsibilities. These include (but are not limited to):
1. ..Have no gods.
2. ..Don’t worship stuff.
3. ..Be polite.
4. ..Take a day off once in a while.
5. ..Be nice to folks.
6. ..Don’t kill people.
7. ..Don’t cheat on your significant other.
8. ..Don’t steal stuff.
9. ..Don’t lie about stuff.
10. ..Don’t be greedy.
Remember, theists may condemn you for living by this code because you are doing it of your own free will instead of because you’re afraid that if you don’t a supreme being will set you on fire.”
- Atheistic Rights & Responsibilities
The High Line. Julien Strangler
“i can’t do anything different
half of balance
is just believing
- Frank Chimero’s father on falling off the roof
Un Sedicesimo. Frank Chimero
“It’s hard to make purple work in a design.
Look people in the eyes when you are talking or listening to them.
Quiet is always an option, even if everyone is yelling.
Libraries are a good place. The books are free there, and it smells great.
Keep two books on your nightstand at all times: one fiction, one non-fiction.
Adobe software never stops being frustrating.
If you meet a person who cares about the same obscure things you do,
hold on to them for dear life.
Most important things happen at a table.
It is okay to romanticize things a little bit every now and then: it gives you hope.
If you need an analogy, use an animal.
Be suspicious of lists, advice, and lists of advice.
Everyone is just making it up as they go along.”
- a little bit of Frank Chimero’s advice to graphic design students