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monsters come
in all shapes and sizes,
some of them are things
people are scared of.
some of them are things
that look like things
people used to be scared of
a long time ago.
sometimes monsters are things
people should be scared of,
but they aren’t.

- neil gaiman

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yesterday, amy and i (not talking in multiple persons, i have a real life friend named amy who is also smart and funny and resourceful and good at life etc.) took the day off because we both still have lingering vacation days we’re required to take before christmas (xoxo, hr). anyway, in order to maximize a mandatory one day of fun-ness, we did what all tightly wound slash totally game and adventurous women do … we planned.

1. am coffee tawking @ blue bottle
2. brooklyn brunching @ egg
3. aggressive sampling @ mast brothers
4. sketchbook browsing @ brooklyn art library
5. midtown snacking @ little collins
6. big piano playing @ fao schwarz
7. out nerding @ museum of the city of new york

the result was
f l a w l e s s .

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1...the east village is one of the few nyc neighborhoods in which i’ve never felt judged. i’ve been here 4 years, but i live amongst those who clock over 40 (easy). either way, it’s all the same (all good, even). also, shit used to be really bad – like, buildings on fire all the time bad. then giuliani came in, cleaned up, and asked young people with dogs to move in (i.e. yuppies with babies not welcome). the way i see it, gentrifiers in the ev get a pass (a cat call, even).
2...dumbo is like the sweet, rich, unassuming uncle of all the magical magical bk hoods.
3...there’s something about a perfect set of downtown doors set against a perfect flood of downtown light that just seems to make everything everywhere 100% more than okay.
4...dear de blasio, please use this shade of aquamarine gutter paint as much as possible.
5...if you like to feel like the entire world is your oyster, eat this way and then walk this way.
6...see #1. also, fizzy water reminds me of lauren and now i miss her all over again.

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1...it’s been 253 days since i posted one of these. mostly because december→ mid-march was dedicated to finding a full time job with a reasonable salary and above average health care benefits so i only allowed time for two things – furiously looking for a job and furiously riding in place. thankfully, that asinine regime only lasted about 3 months (i got a job with a reasonable salary and above average health care benefits in mid-march). then – big surprise – i actually had to do the new job i got and spent the next 6 months onboarding, failing, flailing, derailing, maintaining, restraining, owning, scoring, flooring, exploring, restoring (working).
2...sometimes, the view from my kitchen window is all i really need to get to tomorrow.
3...when i was younger and acting like a show-boaty pain in the ass, my mom would ask, “amy, what am i going to do with you?” my response was to throw up my hands exclaiming, “LOVE ME!” and then run into the wild suburban yonder, hoping the issue could be dropped forever. i guess what i’m trying to say is → w-burg, i get you but what am i going to do with you?
4...oh, to be a fly on the wall during this french bulldog’s pour over coffee smoke break.
5...other times, the view from my bedroom window is all i really need to get to tomorrow.

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1...per a friend’s recommendation, i finally tried soulcycle. the closest studio is in union square (ugh), but seeing as how i’ve now been to 11 classes in 14 days that’s clearly not enough of a drawback to prevent getting wholly, fully, 1000% completely addicted. awhoops.
2...since moving to the east village over 3 years ago, living half a block from abraço has always topped a long list of reasons why i still love living here. i even remember noting that they were “just around the corner” when i went looking for my very first roommate. anyway, pictured above is co-owner liz quijada (and the woman behind their famous olive oil cake) holding her daughter lily. i am such big fans of these two. best smiles of 2012, by far.
3...it wouldn’t really be a proper amy’s list if i didn’t post something from the union square greenmarket, right? it must be clear by now i walk through this every week. also, roses.
4 & 5...back in october, tristan helped me cross wave hill off my ny to do list. it took a little one on one internet time to figure out that getting there is actually super simple. just live in or visit nyc, head to grand central, chill on metro north for 25min, and get off at riverdale. then be sure to pat yourself on the back for visiting a 28-acre public garden in the bronx overlooking the hudson river and palisades. fancy!


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1...i held off on blogging these photos because it felt inappropriate to post anything but flooded apartment floating parking garage artisanal food truck charging station grinding gridlock snapshots of the city, but since i don’t think i can stomach one more of those i decided to fuck it and move on. i took this on my way home from my office during the last days of the feast san gennaro. i miss the dusk, i miss the lights.
2...i’m supposed to vote at village view housing on tuesday, but no one seems to know if that’s still true. i could really go for a ground up view from inside their derelict playground dome right about now.
3...looks like hercules and xena decided to haul ass to fort greene after their lease was up. gc, guys.
4...i would like very much to go back to wherever, whenever this was taken. i need a big, fat rewind.
5...molly and i biked to 139 basset avenue in mill basin a few sundays ago to see the gaudiest house in new york city. after we found it, we laughed out loud and ate some pizza. it was a fine day.
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a few weeks ago,
i needed to get out of town.
like, really needed to get out of town.
.
so i hopped a flight to london,
attended my sister’s wedding shower,
and did a lap around the canal.
.
the end.
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1...this dog and dude are totally on the same “why is she wearing overalls and taking my picture” page.
2...freelandbuck had this to say about their slipstream installation at bridge gallery – “it’s integrity as a structure is masked by both its redundancy and bright coloration.” oooooof. ouch. slash, sometimes i worry my integrity is masked by redundancy and bright coloration. ooooooy. i might need a new drug.
3...omg! lauren was here! for a weekend! we went to red hook! it was summer! red hook summer!
4...contrary to popular belief, i am not interested in owning a dog as i’m certain i would be very bad at the important stuff (walking, feeding, training, etc). i am, however, very interested in making more friends who do not mind when i audibly appreciate almost every dog we happen to bump into. coolthxbye.
5...and this is a picture of molly explaining the promo poster for frasier’s new tv show to me / the end.
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1...soooooooo before i talk about why this carpe diem wall poser somewhere in the dregs of soho is my new favorite super righteous dude, i should explain that i just started working here as a production coordinator (what does that mean? idk i’ll look it up). aaaaanyway, their ny office is on a sweetass downtown block and the people watching has been killer (i.e. upping my soho / sobro quota, holla).
2...i finally checked long beach off my list and the waves were superbig and rough, just like i like ‘em.
3...something i really adore about my new job is strolling from the east village → bowery → noho → nolita → little italy → work each morning. a delightful way to wake up no matter how you look at it.
4...no man is an island unless that man has decided to park himself in a fancy beach chair on top of an aggressive amount of sand with a lot of unchecked authority. then i guess, yea, he’s a bit of an island.
5...in case you didn’t notice, i try to make every day a meet cool dog while grabbing a cup of coffee day.
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1...i’m pretty sure this end is nigh sidewalk dog in greenpoint was my inspiration for hauling ass to philly after realizing i hadn’t left the city since my spur of the moment costa rican getaway back in february.
2...per her request, i sent joanna a list of 15 things i wanted to do while in philly (huge thank you to the nytimes for this and this) and she made good on almost everything including, “lay out and / or swim.”
3...don’t cry over a giant bag of spilled m&m’s especially when they’re the weird pastel kind and it’s 94°.
4...until jo’s dad corrected me, i thought this was a burmese mountain dog. as it turns out, this is a bernese mountain dog (i.e. originating from bern, switzerland not burma, southeast asia). awhooops.
5...na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na bat-van.
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1...my best friend’s family was in town and they very kindly let me cruise direct some adventures (i.e. dan asked for 1 or 2 suggestions and i drafted a super awesome itinerary instead). around 3pmish, i tried to take everyone here, but since it wasn’t set to open until 5pm, i quickly swerved everyone to reynards. a few wood-roasted olives and manhattan king viewings later, all wait time had been forgotten.
2...fine people of the internet, i would like you to meet joe dobies. in addition to being 1/2 the reason my best friend exists, he is also the world’s greatest what-to-order-er. i’ll have whatever he’s having, forever.
3...beware the ides of march, but befriend the ides of williamsburg. it’s fun, it works – - – > i like it.
4...holy moly, did anyone mention it is hot as fucking hades in this city right now? no? well, it is.
5...this nude reminds me = one time in college when joanna was on her laptop not really paying attention to her surroundings (i.e. me), i took off my brandeis sweatpants and demanded, “draw me.”
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1...i’m a taurus which means not only am i violently hostile to change and quick to oversimplify complex matters, but that i also switch into hyper-loyal autopilot once i decide i like something. so, despite a 2hr commute to queens and a staff of crabby meankids (the worst!), i like rockaway taco.
2...a few weekends ago, candicemolly, and i decided to tackle the bike ride from williamsburg to rockaway park (roughly 18 miles, one way). we met at blue bottle ass early on sunday to caffeinate and gameplan beforehand and there we discovered each of us was in it for fairly different reasons – candice for the food, molly for the ride, and me for the burn. really though, i’m almost always in it for the burn.
3...the coney island mermaid parade was terrifying. usually i’m fine with crowds / crazies, but this was wayyy too much. i wanted to leave the moment i got there and so, after 30min, i did. sorryimnotsorry.
4...sometimes, i just really need a tall glass of water and an above ground subway stop. that’s all.
5...also, whenever i see something (anything!) that remotely resembles a flag, i immediately go here.
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1...sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you just have to throw on some gym clothes and take down your own damn “man, bear, on the rocks” studio art final, ya know? srsly, we’ve all been there, girl.
2...i hastily took this photo while running to catch a manhattan bound f train at the 4th ave / 9th st station in park slope. like any city dweller, i secretly love a few good lines and these were no exception.
3...on my way home from improv 101 last week, i walked through a construction site and noticed a worker had cemented a cell phone into the sidewalk. well well well, how do ya like them apples?
4...obviously, the tompkins square halloween dog parade is my all-time favorite east village event, but the 900 foot long blank canvas that wraps around the park for the howl festival makes a close second.
5...there will never be such a thing as too many dogs on this blog. never ever ever ever ever ever.
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1...i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again – - – > you don’t always have to look up to see the good stuff.
2...big red doors make everything better. add in a baller dog & a happy punk? you’ve got yourself a party.
3...i can’t stop wondering when that next shut up stop worrying don’t think about it just do it door i’m supposed to open is going to reveal itself. the twins say june 12, but they’re only right 99.7% of the time.
4...fat or skinny? i know how these two will respond, but rihanna and i ran out of fucks to give.
5...and then this one time i saw a dog waiting patiently for a giant sesame bagel and dirty crack coffee.
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if you wait,
all that happens
is that you get older.
larry mcmurtry
.
if you aren’t 
in over your head,
how do you know
how tall you are?
t.s. eliot

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1...last week, dan and i camped out at ninth street to work separately, silently for an entire afternoon. when i finally looked up, i realized i hadn’t felt that quiet or comfortable or productive all f-ing year.
2...in terms of bluest skies, last weekend was a total teacher’s pet. not complaining, just saying.
3...they’re showing a lot of florals right now, so i was thinking… (florals? for spring? ground breaking)
4...sarah, molly, and i spent all day saturday laughing in mccarren park, incredulously browsing the brooklyn flea, taking the east river ferry to dumbo, laying out in brooklyn bridge park, and walking someone else’s long haired dachshund. unfortunately, i think this means we’re the ladies.
5...i wanna be made (into a twenty something dude living and working and dating in new york).


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1...cutting through tompkins always seems to add a dash of yes yes yes to my all day everyday.
2...the line for mighty quinn’s bbq brisket sandwich at smorgasburg in williamsburg has been especially epic the past few weeks so i have yet to see what the big deal is – - – > update coming soon.
3...and while the line for dough is no less mighty than mr. quinn’s, the payoff is certainly sweet.
4...seeing as how i’ve not only attended smorgasburg multiple times, but also worked the bk flea in fort greene and williamsburg and attended day one of the hester street fair, i’m having a very fairy may.
5...if these paws could talk . . . they’d probably say something like “we are funny looking end of story.”
6...mile end sandwich just opened in my favorite downtown cross section = trilowstor (the triangle between lafayette and bowery from houston to astor place). hide yo kids, hide yo wife, tell yo friends.


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1...i’ve been thinking pretty seriously about giving up on romance (unconditional love in the city? reallywhere?), but then i met a husky outside blue bottle who had the softest ears in the whole wide borough. maybe instead of throwing out the baby with the tap water, i can just stop and pet the huskys.
2...i can’t speak for summer, but spring is playing to win this year. april showers bring may flowers, yo.
3...googling “movies with great danes” has led me to the most incredible archive ever. beaches! private benjamin! for love or money! looks like it might be time for a great dane in a movie night . . .
4... the storefront facade on 97 kenmare street is the collaborative brainchild of artist vito acconci and architect steven holl. like a party favor snap bracelet, it’s quick and neat and easy to forget.
5...this city is a giant, gentle beast held together by good timing and brute strength. i love living here.


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1...i’ve never had serious problems with allergies before, but, oh my god, this year is turning out to be a really gross exception to that rule. spring 2012 is the booger apocalypse. hide yo kids, hide yo wife.
2...it’s really strange not having an office to small talk the weather with so if anyone would like to facetime and discuss today’s 10 day or hourly, i’d most definitely be down. we can also determine whether or not you had a nice weekend and if you’re doing anything exciting this summer. coolthxbye.
3...that spray paint looks like jelly fish / this pizza tastes like trash / them pandas don’t get old.
4...building siblings from left to right – - – > their eldest who shoplifted from cvs that one time, their middle weirdo who joined the army and has a pet snake, their youngest ivy wonder asset manager.
5...something in my routine feels slightly broken so i’ve been working on a grand plan to fix it.


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1...woah woah woah – - – > grace church has been doing graceful churchy things on broadway between 10th and 11th since 1846 (166 years!) and they’re getting a new organ tooOooOOOOooO.
2...i mean, i hear you. i’m just not sure if this city really needs another schoolbus full of wheatgrass.
3...yes, the wi-fi at ‘snice is sick sad superslow, but their apple bran muffin is perfectly bland (i love it).
4...it took me a really long time to warm up to the hipster windchill at blue bottle coffee, but lord knows i’m a sucker for absurd, abundant natural light. a giant window garage front door? ugh. i die everytime.
5...last week i didn’t know a damn thing until i saw spring had sprung in the middle of st marks.
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1...looks like retna is the latest to tag the houston street wall, but barry mcgee’s is still my favorite.
2...i’m in a fresh flowers in the apartment phase and my bodega dude on the se corner of 9th & 1st ave knows what’s up – - – > tulips for the vase in the kitchen + something bright / fragrant for the hallway.
3...black black…..p..i..n..k..!…..black black black black black black black black black black black black.
4...last saturday, dan’s mom and i met up for an adorable astor afternoon and walked to bond no. 9 to figure out some fragrances. outside we found this key and inside we talked about this a+ book.
5...on my way home from 9th st, i stumbled on an east village nowruz party in the community garden on 9th & c. traditionally, iranian children jump over a bonfire during nowruz to burn out the fear in the subconscious / spirit in preparation for a healthy, happy new year. cool! l’shana tova, kiddos.
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1...march scared the shit out of me. i know spring is an afterthought and that in a few fast weeks summer is going to punch this city in the fucking nose. so when 2/29 turned into 3/1, it made the past 3 months feel like i had sprinted across moving sidewalks only to lose my balance on the final stretch, fighting, flailing, falling up some stairs to summer. so i got up, stopped worrying, and took myself to the park.
2...i’ve been thinking a lot about neighborhoods. i’m not sure whether i can or will stay in my apartment after my lease is up and, while that’s not until the end of september, i keep wondering if there’s any other place i could live that would make me as happy as the east village has. this one makes me think maybe.
3...street trash on 1st ave is getting really ridiculous. i mean, what is a “cutters must” list? #dark
4...i’d like to stop using meaningless phrases like “it’s just that,” hesitating before jumping off cliffs, and playing new songs on repeat until the intro makes me nauseous. it’s just that i can’t (so i won’t).
5...when i train it to bk yoga and walk up these stairs, i always think, “quit yelling and i might.”
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1...i’m not a smoker, but i’d give anything to experience one of those middleoftheday, middleofthedeal, middleofthedate real life escape smoke breaks. there’s so much sex and swag in that pregnant pause.
2...sometimes, i wander ‘round these parts and think i’ve seen and done every block and blast and blonde the ev has to offer and then, other times, i remember to lift my head and chin up, chair up.
3...someone tagged the nolita rag & bone and i’d like to thank them for serving up one smartass serif.
4...friday with an out of towner can only mean one thing → a reason to revisit this baller exhibit.
5...{ clink clink clink }..i am proud to announce that after spending one thousand three hundred and fifty eight glorious days of my adult life as a full-year resident of new york, i have now been to the met.
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c l a p .
c l a p .

c l a p .

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1...the day before i left for costa rica, the city was downswinging . . . hard. hands in, heads down, shoulders up, shoulders up, shoulders up, it was a point-a to point-b midwinter festivus for the rest of us.
2...on the way to 826nyc last week, i decided to pay a little homage to able parris’ daily kentile. considering i shoot all of these posts with an outdoor use only waterproof disposable camera, i was pleased+ with how it turned out. noise canceling headphone smiles at my local walgreens, for sure.
3...i think some of my old steady, don’t stand so close, i can’t take two trips, what is this, what do you want, are we there, are we lost, are we late, are we done, are we cool, lifewalls might be coming down.
4...my crush on red hook is becoming an issue. i think about van brunt street all the time and i’ve started to swerve to fort defiance in the middle of the day for absolutely no reason. fuck, i need a new drug.
5...back in december, i posted about hacking at my ny to do list and i said, “i think it’s changing my life. i can’t stop looking up.” well, two months later, and it’s still all life changing, all up looking...w..h..e..w .


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1...i went to london over thanksgiving to visit my sister and, despite the so so weather, it was one of the best trips i have been on in such a long time. not only was it a relief to fly across the ocean for something other than work or a tragedy, but it was also a total pleasure spending the holiday with my one and only big sister. i love her a hell of a lot (and not just because she’s a baller who always makes it rain).
2...occupy london was so discreet and quiet, boring almost. then we looked up and the sky cleared.
3...when i got back to the city, i finally finished writing my ny to do list and starred everything in my google maps account so i could have a super accessible and fully fleshed out resource of personalized adventures to go on while taking december and january off. i’ve been hacking away at it every day (sometimes with friends, sometimes without) and i think it’s changing my life. i can’t stop looking up.
4...for the first time in a long, long time, i really don’t know what’s next. i’m out there alright, hacking at a path and trying to find my way using every tool i possibly can, but fuck if i know where i’m going.


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1...omg, guys. it’s the moon. the moon! there’s really nothing quite like it (except maybe the sun).
2...the only reason i’m still holding on to my sex & the city collector’s edition box set is one part my infinity crush on steve brady and one part the “this pizza tastes like garbage” episode.
3...people watching at 9th street on any given morning is always always exactly where i want to be.
4...if there is ever a question about what i was like as a kid, this young lady will be more than happy to paint a detailed picture for you (or you can ask my sister to tell you about the time i yelled at a gorilla).
5...small dogs make me slightly sad and uncomfortable due to their smallness and my ability to squash them too easily-ness. this one was tolerable enough, but still. too small! too. damn. small.


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1...i’m an intense creature of habit so doing the same thing every weekend really doesn’t bother me especially when that same thing is camping outside 9th street, enjoying my favorite raspberry muffin / an incredible cup of coffee, and hanging out with other people’s dogs for a solid 2 to 3 hours.
2...the big gay ice cream shop is finally open and lauren, daniel, and i somehow managed to find a no-line-around-the-corner window of time to order our respective bea arthurs and salty pimps.
3...there will always be hard days ahead, but it just so happens laughing through them helps bigtime.
4/5...my sister was in town this weekend (she lives in london) and, thanks to her willingness to partake in some aimless village wanderings, we stolled down leafy streets i have never strolled down before.
6...did you know that little italy’s feast of san gennaro just celebrated it’s 85th year? salute!