there’s only one rule
that i know of, babies -
“god damn it,
you’ve got to be kind.”
people who try
to bring you down
like, this guy.
oh, and me too.
chloe: i just saw 826 is doing scrabble for cheaters on may 3rd. maybe we should get a team together.
me: oooooooooo i’m down.
chloe: we should ask anders, too. he’d be seriously brilliant.
me: that is an excellent call.
chloe: on it.
[a few minutes later]
chloe: anders is in.
chloe: who would you like to ask? i could also ask my roomie. she’s cool. she works for the atlantic wire. you’d like her.
me: i’d ask my friend amy who is vvv clever and wise (not talking about myself, i have another friend named amy).
[a few minutes later]
me: it sounds like you can only have teams of two …
me: ok i think you and anders should be a team because you will kick total f-ing ass and, to be totally honest, i’m actually really bad at scrabble : (
chloe: isn’t that the point? bad player = great cheater.
me: i guess. either way, you must beat peter dinklage!
[a few minutes later]
me: well, i’m happy to be your teammate OR root for you and anders. the choice is yours.
chloe: oh no. this is like sophie’s choice. only different. and with fewer nazis.
me: does anders know there’s a $50 registration fee per team member? does chloe know?
chloe: i think i’ve made it clear that i know the least about this event of everyone.
to be continued …
ps – did you get your tickets? to the cloud show?
just a friendly reminder:
summer will rise again.
… i do think, also, that—oh god, now this is really the stuff of shitty women’s magazines and heteronormative nightmare trend pieces—but i think that having it all can be a stumbling block for men, but it’s a stumbling block for the kinds of men you absolutely don’t want in your life. your general togetherness and attractiveness, when paired with a cautiousness and quietness upfront, is really fluffy bunny ass for a traditional man. when you show your sharp bunny claws, though, this kind of man is going to turn cold and turn tail and run. the magazines will tell you to fluff up your tail and play down your giant brain. i’m going to give you the opposite advice. if i were you, i would try flashing the bunny claws earlier, to see what you’re dealing with. is this a bunny chaser, or a guy who likes real assertive happy human women? mutter a few ribald remarks, make your opinion crystal clear, then look the guy frankly in the eye as if to say, “that’s me, buddy. like it or lump it.” many, many men with an eye for a princess will get gone real quick-like after that.
ps – ilikeyoulikeyou is 5 years old today. cards and cash totally welcome, just don’t, like, read through my old old posts and expect to find any gems. they’re in reg caps. fuckin’ amateur hour.
would be a choice twitter bio.
u feel, moody ghost?
ye olde travel itch
has officially landed.
read: i gotta get away
before i can find my way.
suggestions, internet amigos?
time is tricky. you have whole months, even years, when nothing changes a speck, when you don’t go anywhere or do anything or think one new thought. and then you can get hit with a day, or an hour, or a half a second when so much happens it’s almost like you got born all over again into some brand-new person you for damn sure never expected to meet.
happy birthday, kimball.
happy birthday, uncle mike.
last year, march 20th came out of nowhere and hit me really hard. i had started a new job on the 18th, forgot there was anything significant about the 20th, remembered what i had forgotten on the 22nd, realized why my sister texted me she was thinking about me, excused myself for an inaugural office bathroom cry, and felt mostly fucking terrible about the whole damn week. so this year, in the spirit of leading with realness and taking better care of myself-ness and unapologetically asking for what i need-ness …
(1) i took the day off work.
(2) i texted my sister first thing in the morning that i loved her.
(3) i walked and thought and talked about him a lot.
it was sad.
it was spring.
it was real.
58 b p m
i’m feelin’ it
starts to rise
58 b p m
one second ’til
the beat match
gets in time
58 b p m
we can both
peel it back
to second skin
cause 700 miles an hour’s just too fast to take the world in …
now fairly certain
the root cause of fomo =
music festival season.
dudes on their computer machines.
dudes on their fancy brass string ’straments.
dudes on their game in the pouring rain.
me: what does drake mean when he says “i gotta pull up on you” in mine on the new beyoncé album? like, is she a horse and he needs her to slow down? or like, i’m gonna touch you till you get quiet?
him: pull up on you = take you unexpectedly.
me: freelance urban dictionary.
him: LOL foreal.
me: THAT’S a twitter bio.
in the metro section,
a photographer offers
a new slice of new york.”
vvv about this slicey lyfe.
hard copy sunday times style.
an unwise move,
and you could
read his bio! read his bio!
what a FUCKING opening, man.
how i think about you,
how i hope you think about me.
sometimes i can’t crack my own code.
i barely know her.
how am i?
on top of
“let’s try to make it all feel real.” – kevin drew
me: when do you take your pill?
her: morning, but i’ve always taken meds in the morning, since probably high school, so it wasn’t weird for me to learn to take a pill and keep that routine. but other people set an alarm for themselves at the same time every day which is awkward when that time is 7pm in the middle of a brooklyn brainery class, for instance.
me: i was thinking 4pm was safe. i’ll be up, i won’t be at the gym, not too late to disrupt a night out. wait … have you been in a brooklyn brainery class where someone took their birth control?
her: i have been in class with that same woman. twice.
nothing to say,
winter’s still here.
navy y’all sweatshirt
to warm things up?
bliss was it in that dawn to be alive,
but to be young was very heaven.
143 the caption on this video.
637 always and forever.
he [plays] too damn much.
you gotta watch clooney.
- bernie mac, george clooney’s history of pranking
me: i know you’re slammed and probably won’t read this till late, but could you tell me something nice?
him: i think you’re amazing and a great friend and you have a funny laugh but aren’t actually very funny yourself.
3 liters a day since nov.
vvv about this life.