(1) in october, i bought a block of 20 classes which cost exactly one million dollars. now i go like three times a week. over a year this works out to all the money i can imagine in my brain in one go.
(2) some clothes have a skull on them. it looks like badassery that roller derby girls would be hyped on. and everybody knows roller derby girls are depressing as fuck.
(3) nothing beats soulcycle for dumbing all the way out or re-calibrating a mood in less than an hour which is reassuring since i typically wake up in a panic that’s candy-coated with a low-grade rage.
(4) they also sell you water for $2 but i bring my own because they can fuck themselves straight to hell if they think they’re draining any more goddamned money from me.
(5) most of the instructors are pretty good but i avoid all the ones who like mashups because they’re disgusting monsters who need to pull it together.
(6) you will suck really hard the first five times you go and then you get better. between time one and three you get a lot better while remaining in the suck category … mostly, it’s hard to follow along while you want to barf out of your eye ducts.
(7) soulcycle feels gross, is gross and i’m grateful to have found it.