a very, very good friend of mine just lost one of her parents and, knowing a fair bit about my history, asked for some “grief tips.” this is what i told her:
1...everything changed when patrick told me, “amy, you get a pass … take the pass.” right now, you don’t need to apologize for feeling angry or hurt or frustrated or happy or unstable or delirious or whateverthefuck you’re feeling. you get a pass. TAKE the pass.
2...we – your friends, your family, your given support system, your chosen support system – we’re all here for you no matter what.
3...it’s okay to laugh cause, like, this one time jay judah made a joke on the way into my dad’s funeral and when i laughed i realized it was the first time i had felt like myself in 3 days.
then i texted her this.