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like more than a friend.


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Back in August, one of my co-workers left the firm to go study medieval history at a prestigious graduate school in England. I was really jealous to see her go, not because I had any interest in medieval history (sorry, I just like fonts better), but because I felt completely trapped and lost and had little to no confidence that I would be able to find my way. If it’s any indication of my headspace at the time, this was our last exchange:
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Me:..I’m not as unhappy as I seem.
Her:..I hope you’re not as unhappy as you seem.
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Oooof.  Anyway, she left this note on my desk after she stayed late to pack up all her things, so I didn’t end up finding it until the next morning. When I read it, I got a huge lump in my throat and my eyes started to well up with tears. I really, really wanted to believe what she had written was true, but at the time I just couldn’t so I took the note and hid it behind some papers pinned to my cubicle. I also did this because I knew it would make me cry every time I saw it and, well, crying at work was just sooo 2009.
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Flash forward 2 months —> I found my way. My last day at the firm is next Tuesday and, being the over-zealous pre-planner that I am, my desk was cleared off and my files were put in basement storage right after my first phone interview. Unfortunately, this means I now only have stupid little things left to take care of (don’t forget that mug! don’t forget those snacks! don’t forget this bamboo plant!), so I’ve been trying to make them last all week. As it happens, yesterday was take down all the things I pinned to my cubicle day and this note, stuck between a menu and a hard copy of the office holiday calendar, made me cry all over again. But this time it was for the good reasons.
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The really, really good reasons.